gross

The ignorance achieved such levels that Gordon Ramsay was genuinely bewildered as to how someone could possibly not mean to serve another person straight up rancid scallops. 

In an e-mail obtained by Government Executive, employees at the EPA were told to shape up after reported incident of feces being placed outside an office bathroom. Administrator Howard Cantor said "Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals." Poop shenanigan-doers, beware!

This comes after numerous other EPA misconduct incidents, including one employee pretending to be a CIA agent to get unlimited vacation time and another fessing up to spending as many as 6 hours a day watching naughty internet bits. Hats off to the Environmental Protection Agency though, it takes guts to be this blatantly incompetent and wasteful.

Here's Huffington Post's piece on the poopy situation with some more detail:

And here's what the poor guy looked like trying to report while it all happened:

As many have been quick to point out, the color of this birthday-destroying dookie indicates that it was maybe even human - perhaps from a passing plane. Either way, the cake suddenly seems a little less appealing now.