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Funniest Tweets Written By Women Last Week (October 12, 2020)

The women of Twitter never fail to bring us joy and laughter, and we love sharing our happiness with you. So here's your weekly haul of the funniest women's tweets that we saw over the past seven days. We do the work, and you do the laughing. Oh, and here are last week's in case you missed them.

funniest women tweets we came across this week | thumbnail text Onyx @Allanah_Morales Y'all remember principals used sit our classes our teachers became fake nice af day lol
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People Tweet About Their Weirdest, Most Awkward First Dates Ever

Almost every person has been on or will go on a bad date at some point in their life. I believe that awkward dates are a natural part of life, much like gravity and sunset. If you've done well enough to avoid one until now, I commend you. Honestly, you have dodged one of life's greatest bullets. But if you have a plethora of lousy date tales to tell, then welcome to the club. It's a magical place. Another Valentines Day has just come and gone, and if, like me, you were sat at home without a valentine, then these tweets about people's 'Weird, uncomfortable, funny, awkward, and ultimately entertaining' bad dates, will make you feel better about being single.

people reveal their weirdest dating stories | thumbnail text - texasblonde @texasblonde22 Replying LizerReal Went meet guy stopped and sat on bench. He grabbed my keys and started playing with my pepper spray and pepper sprayed himself face. Date over.
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14 Times Domino's Pizza Zimbabwe Delivered Hot Comedy Gold On Facebook

This is the BEST brand on social media. Every time I thought Domino's Pizza Zimbabwegot as funny as they could possibly get, they went and outdid themselves. 

Funny tweets and FB post from Domin's pizza Zimbabwe which is a novelty twitter account poking fun at African stereotypes
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Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (November 24, 2020)

Most people have a love-hate relationship with dad humor. And by that, I mean they hate how much they love it. The awful jokes make us groan, roll our eyes, and sometimes, genuinely laughing out loud. And when they share their dad jokes, quips, and rants about parenting on Twitter, we love it even more. Each week, we scour the internet for the funniest dad tweets we can find, and we love sharing them with you. When you need a pick-me-up, scroll through these tweets, then last week's, and then the week before that.



funniest dad tweets of the week | Thumbnail Text - WTFDAD @daddydoubts I just sneezed and my kid shouted from his bedroom "bless you dad!" which is adorable. You know what else is adorable? GOING THE FUCK TO SLEEP 4:03 AM Nov 19, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 147 Retweets 17 Quote Tweets 1.7K Likes >
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (November 29, 2020)

Each week we scroll through the world wide web — OK fine, just Twitter— to find you the funniest parenting tweets. These 280 character nuggets of gold contain the best parenting rants, quips, complaints, and advice you'll find. And the best part? You don't even have to search for them; we've done the hard part for you. Enjoy this selection of funny parenting tweets, which are as amusing as the last.


funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - Text - joe heenan @joeheenan There was a massive unflushed Jobby in the toilet. I asked my boys who did it & my 10yr old son said it was him. My 5yr old son is crying cause he says it was him & his big brother is taking the credit. Have a great week everyone! 10:35 AM Nov 23, 2020 Twitter for Android 276 Retweets 69 Quote Tweets 8.1K Likes
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28 Tweets Filled With Short & Sweet Humor

Twitter's been an absolute nightmare of late between the election, the pandemic, and the unholy areas in which the two intersect. We're sick of the politics, and we're willing to bet that you are, too. To help you enjoy the good parts of Twitter, we've put together some amusing (and often sadly relatable) tweets that will remind you of the good parts of the site. Stay safe out there on the internet, y'all. There's so much to avoid.

Funny random tweets, twitter memes, clever tweets, creative | Angie B @Angibangie Tilda Swinton is last person on Earth, having solely survived apocalypse tumbleweed rolls by. She picks up and eats Delicious she says, as she gets down on all fours then gallops into night.
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (November 22, 2020)

Have kids, they said. It will be fun, they said. Sure, it's all fun and games until your kid smears poop all over the wall. Or they're screaming bloody murder because you cut their sandwich into a square shape instead of a triangle, you monster! But, through all the trials and tribulations that parenting brings, you've got to be able to laugh your frustrations away, and the parents of Twitter certainly do an excellent job at it. Here is this week's collection of funniest parenting Tweets for all parents (and non-parents alike) to relate hard to.

funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - Vision Bored @VisionBored1 sure sex is great but have you ever opened a bag of chips alone in an empty house knowing no children will come rushing in the room to ask for some 10:59 PM - Nov 20, 2020 - Twitter for iPhone 56 Retweets 8 Quote Tweets 659 Likes >
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (August 23, 2020)

Being a parent is a tough gig, and venting about all the hardships it entails is a healthy outlet for the inevitable frustration of the job. And what better place to vent than Twitter, the home of roasts and a place where you'll find the validation, solace, and sympathy you seek from fellow parents. Here are this week's funniest parenting Tweets, and last week's in case you missed them.

funniest parenting tweets of the week - cover pic tweet | Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal Being great mom: scheduling doctor's appointments, keeping track school projects, setting up playdates, making sure everyone brushes their teeth Being great dad: popsicles lunch
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PETA Released a List of Animal-Friendly Idioms To Avoid 'Speciesism' And Twitter Replies

"Feed two birds with one scone"-  PETA has a list of updated idioms to "remove speciesism from your daily conversations." and people on twitter has a lot to say about it. 

PETA on twitter goes a bit cringeworthy with their demands that people talk differently
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A Humorously Mild Taste of LaCroix Tweets

Sparkling water is a decisive topic. Some appreciate a light alternative to juice and soda, and everyone else demands to know where the flavor is. It's hard for many of us to spend money on a product whose selling point is that there's almost nothing in it, and that generates some pretty hilarious complaints. For more twitter stuff, here are funny tweets to give that day a boost.

Funny tweets about LaCroix sparkling water | Mike Ingram @mikeingram00 guess question have people who love LaCroix is have tried any other beverages 13 Feb Mike Ingram @mikeingram00 LaCroix tastes like made by society which flavor is scarcest natural resource 2:03 PM Feb 14, 2018 8 8 See Mike Ingram's other Tweets
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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (November 15, 2020)

Parenting comes with its highs and lows. Of course, no one talks about the highs because, let's face it, bragging parents are possibly one of the worst types of people on the planet. But the lows... well, everyone wants to hear about the lows because the lows are funny, especially when they're put on Twitter for the world to see. So, each week, we compile a list of the funniest parenting tweets we came across over the past seven days to give you a taste of the trials and tribulations (and occasional joys) of parenting. Scroll through this week's haul and then mosey on over to last week's to get more parenting survival tips and tricks.

funniest parenting tweets of the week - thumbnail | Text - Lauren Flans @LaurenFlans the orphan i adopted sucks at chess fml 8:07 AM Nov 13, 2020 · Twitter for Android 20.7K Retweets 2.1K Quote Tweets 293.5K Likes >
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17 Bleak Dystopian Memes Because Nothing Really Matters

Freddie Mercury was correct in Bohemian Rhapsody when he said that "nothing really matters," because let's face it, life is meaningless and corporations have completely taken over our lives. So if for some strange reason you're in the mood to be reminded of the dystopian hell we live in, scroll down!

Funny dystopian memes about the bleak world we live in | Capitalism be like: Trade blood access knowledge ADVERTISE HERE Signal CALL NEED BOOKS? NO WORRIES DONATE PLASMA. this is some dystopian shit New donors earn up 100 one week! | shouldn't worry about ýour career world will be completely unliveable within 20 years. just try have good time while can. wiki Have Healthy Second Marriage Were Widowed
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