Florida, this is why we can't have nice things. You just keep effing it up for the rest of us good law-abiding citizens who just want to go about our days without reading 150 ridiculous headlines about whatever Florida did this time. Totally kidding, we love reading about the weird sh*t that goes on there so keep it coming!
florida
Via The Week
Jasmine Tridevil, a Florida massage therapist, says she sought the surgery in part to make herself "unattractive to men" (Total Recall fanboys might be in trouble still) and hopes to score her own MTV reality show out of her notoriety. What a world we live in...
[UPDATE] Surprising absolutely no one, plastic surgeons chiming in are highly skeptical about the plausibility of this kind of story, and the video interview with Tridevil doesn't really help her case at all.
Via Playful
In October, Josh James of Jupiter, FL threw a three and a half foot alligator into the drive through window of a local Wendy's restaurant. The authorities finally caught up with him and he has been arrested because apparently you're not allowed to go around town slinging large, dangerous reptiles at people.
Why would someone throw a three and a half foot alligator into a fast food restaurant? His mother told WPTV, "He's a prankster. He does stuff like this because he thinks it's funny".
Via WPTV
This prehistoric beast was found tromping around a golf course in Florida, perfectly content with chilling out in the open. Anybody know where Chris Pratt is so he can wrangle this thing?
Here are some more images of the beast from the Myakka Pines Golf Course:
Oh hey, how did this get here...
Via stephen bender
Just spare yourself the embarrassment of walking out empty handed and with your tail between your legs.
Via CBS Miami
Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.
The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.
If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.
