florida

funny-news-fail-drug-dealer
Via NBC Miami
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From NBC Miami:

A West Palm Beach, Florida, man listed his occupation on an arrest report as "drug dealer,'' police say.

Deputies say 25-year-old Robert Phillips was arrested Tuesday after he cut in front of an unmarked Palm Beach County Sheriff's car and nearly caused a crash. A records check found that Phillips was driving a stolen car.
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30 Florida Man Moments Of Tremendous WTF-ery

Florida, this is why we can't have nice things. You just keep effing it up for the rest of us good law-abiding citizens who just want to go about our days without reading 150 ridiculous headlines about whatever Florida did this time. Totally kidding, we love reading about the weird sh*t that goes on there so keep it coming!

Funny 'Florida Man' headlines
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Via PIAOB TV
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This 'Cool Mom', in Florida of course, arranged for a stripper to be the entertainment for her son's 8th birthday party. That's right, the child was turning 8-years old, and she got him a stripper.



In the long run, it's debatable which would be more damaging later in life, a stripper or a clown at your birthday party. My money would be on the stripper (literally) though.

drugs florida Probably bad News news - 8421306624
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From the Tampa Bay Times:

When he was arrested at a Kmart in Hudson on Monday, the Pasco County Sheriff's Office said, Balmer, 50, was wearing a black shirt. Across the chest it said "Who needs drugs?"

Below that it said: "No, seriously, I have drugs."

And, the sheriff said, he had drugs.
funny-news-fail-florida-golf-alligator
Via WPTV
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This prehistoric beast was found tromping around a golf course in Florida, perfectly content with chilling out in the open. Anybody know where Chris Pratt is so he can wrangle this thing?

Here are some more images of the beast from the Myakka Pines Golf Course:



Oh hey, how did this get here...

Criminally Dumb Criminal news florida Probably bad News - 8225403392
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If you read that headline and thought "I bet this happened in Florida," then congratulations! There's a milkshake for you in the fridge as a prize. Go ahead, check it! A choice quote from the story:

The deputies searched Mitchell and fount 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his fat. Police also found a handgun in the middle console and $7,000 in cash stuffed in a tube sock. The suspects tried to hide the smell of drugs with carpet freshener and scented dryer sheets, but that didn't work.

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Thank You Florida, Now For Something Completely Different: An Alligator in Yoga Pants

You almost wish this headline was just click-bait. But unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you see it), this actually happened. A routine traffic stop turned bizarre is this week's Florida headline. A couple was pulled over in May after running a stop sign, and deputies asked them what they had been doing, and they responded searching for frogs and snakes to collect. The deputies asked them if they had any other creatures in the truck, and that is when things took a turn for the weird.The woman had over 40 turtles in a Ninja Turtles backpack, which was definitely an eye-opener. But that is not what shocked the officers. 

The woman in the truck, Ariel Le Quire, after being asked if she had anything else, promptly pulled a foot-long alligator from the yoga pants she was wearing, and placed it in the bed of the pickup truck. The pair were cited and a judge found little humor in her stunt. sentencing Le Quire to 6 months probation, 200 hours of community service, and required her to pay $500 to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. This was all for charges of possessing an American Alligator, transporting more than one turtle or turtle egg, one count of possessing a soft-shell turtle, and one count of possessing more than one turtle, per day. 

The woman was also homeless at the time, so it is uncertain how the court expects her to pay the fine. But internet ridicule is sometimes a better teacher than any monetary penance could be.

Homeless Florida Woman Pulls Alligator Out Of Yoga Pants During Routine Traffic Stop
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