From the Tampa Bay Times:
When he was arrested at a Kmart in Hudson on Monday, the Pasco County Sheriff's Office said, Balmer, 50, was wearing a black shirt. Across the chest it said "Who needs drugs?"
Below that it said: "No, seriously, I have drugs."
And, the sheriff said, he had drugs.
This 'Cool Mom', in Florida of course, arranged for a stripper to be the entertainment for her son's 8th birthday party. That's right, the child was turning 8-years old, and she got him a stripper.
If you read that headline and thought "I bet this happened in Florida," then congratulations! There's a milkshake for you in the fridge as a prize. Go ahead, check it! A choice quote from the story:
The deputies searched Mitchell and fount 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his fat. Police also found a handgun in the middle console and $7,000 in cash stuffed in a tube sock. The suspects tried to hide the smell of drugs with carpet freshener and scented dryer sheets, but that didn't work.
You almost wish this headline was just click-bait. But unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you see it), this actually happened. A routine traffic stop turned bizarre is this week's Florida headline. A couple was pulled over in May after running a stop sign, and deputies asked them what they had been doing, and they responded searching for frogs and snakes to collect. The deputies asked them if they had any other creatures in the truck, and that is when things took a turn for the weird.The woman had over 40 turtles in a Ninja Turtles backpack, which was definitely an eye-opener. But that is not what shocked the officers.
The woman in the truck, Ariel Le Quire, after being asked if she had anything else, promptly pulled a foot-long alligator from the yoga pants she was wearing, and placed it in the bed of the pickup truck. The pair were cited and a judge found little humor in her stunt. sentencing Le Quire to 6 months probation, 200 hours of community service, and required her to pay $500 to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. This was all for charges of possessing an American Alligator, transporting more than one turtle or turtle egg, one count of possessing a soft-shell turtle, and one count of possessing more than one turtle, per day.
The woman was also homeless at the time, so it is uncertain how the court expects her to pay the fine. But internet ridicule is sometimes a better teacher than any monetary penance could be.
From NBC Miami:
A West Palm Beach, Florida, man listed his occupation on an arrest report as "drug dealer,'' police say.
Deputies say 25-year-old Robert Phillips was arrested Tuesday after he cut in front of an unmarked Palm Beach County Sheriff's car and nearly caused a crash. A records check found that Phillips was driving a stolen car.
Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.
The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.
If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.
In October, Josh James of Jupiter, FL threw a three and a half foot alligator into the drive through window of a local Wendy's restaurant. The authorities finally caught up with him and he has been arrested because apparently you're not allowed to go around town slinging large, dangerous reptiles at people.
Why would someone throw a three and a half foot alligator into a fast food restaurant? His mother told WPTV, "He's a prankster. He does stuff like this because he thinks it's funny".
