If you saw that headline and didn't immediately think "FLORIDA," you haven't been paying attention.
Sean Petrozzino (above) inspired many in his fight with bacterial meningitis, which prompted surgeries to remove his infected hands and legs. Now, however, he's on the run and declared a "person of interest" after his parents were found dead in their home.
You can't make this stuff up.
If you read that headline and thought "I bet this happened in Florida," then congratulations! There's a milkshake for you in the fridge as a prize. Go ahead, check it! A choice quote from the story:
The deputies searched Mitchell and fount 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his fat. Police also found a handgun in the middle console and $7,000 in cash stuffed in a tube sock. The suspects tried to hide the smell of drugs with carpet freshener and scented dryer sheets, but that didn't work.
You almost wish this headline was just click-bait. But unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you see it), this actually happened. A routine traffic stop turned bizarre is this week's Florida headline. A couple was pulled over in May after running a stop sign, and deputies asked them what they had been doing, and they responded searching for frogs and snakes to collect. The deputies asked them if they had any other creatures in the truck, and that is when things took a turn for the weird.The woman had over 40 turtles in a Ninja Turtles backpack, which was definitely an eye-opener. But that is not what shocked the officers.
The woman in the truck, Ariel Le Quire, after being asked if she had anything else, promptly pulled a foot-long alligator from the yoga pants she was wearing, and placed it in the bed of the pickup truck. The pair were cited and a judge found little humor in her stunt. sentencing Le Quire to 6 months probation, 200 hours of community service, and required her to pay $500 to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. This was all for charges of possessing an American Alligator, transporting more than one turtle or turtle egg, one count of possessing a soft-shell turtle, and one count of possessing more than one turtle, per day.
The woman was also homeless at the time, so it is uncertain how the court expects her to pay the fine. But internet ridicule is sometimes a better teacher than any monetary penance could be.
From NBC Miami:
A West Palm Beach, Florida, man listed his occupation on an arrest report as "drug dealer,'' police say.
Deputies say 25-year-old Robert Phillips was arrested Tuesday after he cut in front of an unmarked Palm Beach County Sheriff's car and nearly caused a crash. A records check found that Phillips was driving a stolen car.
If you've been following Florida Man, you'll know some pretty crazy stuff happens in the Sunshine State. One creative interviewer decided to ask the cast of Star Wars VII if her quotes were a scenario from Star Wars, or if they were local Florida headlines. You'd be surprised by how hard it is to tell the difference.
Florida, this is why we can't have nice things. You just keep effing it up for the rest of us good law-abiding citizens who just want to go about our days without reading 150 ridiculous headlines about whatever Florida did this time. Totally kidding, we love reading about the weird sh*t that goes on there so keep it coming!
