dumb

There's stupid... and then there's Kevin.

Remember the days when we could watch movies in the theater without a care in the world? Our biggest worry was which size popcorn to get (large obviously) or where to sit (back row, middle seats, duh). But those days are distant memories, and who knows when we'll be allowed back into theaters. We wouldn't even mind the obnoxious idiots who talk throughout the movie, or who have their phones on loud—just bring back normality, please! Joining us in movie theater nostalgia is writer Mike Ginn, who recently tweeted: "The thing I miss most about movie theaters is overhearing someone say the dumbest f—king thing I've ever heard before the previews start." His tweet went viral, and he received thousands of replies from people, all sharing the dumbest things they've overheard at the movies. What's yours?

To put it bluntly, children aren't completely people. Their brains aren't done cooking yet, and they're absolutely not ready to bear the solemn, bill-paying mantle of adulthood. What you get are some prime examples of how weird and dumb kids are. They get their heads stuck in chairs, throw tantrums when they don't get to eat cleaning products, and climb on TVs. Kids are weird and dumb.

We may not have fully rounded opinions on life or the universe, but holy crap do we know exactly how we want the dishwasher loaded. Just take these things people are certain of but have zero proof to drive home the fact that people get extremely passionate about minute details. We'll argue all day about the right way to eat a banana.

What happens when an incompetent manager threatens to fire an employee they completely depend upon? Bluffs are called.

These instances might remind you that you're actually doing pretty well for yourself in the whole brain department. Hot damn, it's like life is a race to see who can do the dumbest thing ever. We absolutely love it. And boy people are dumb a lot.

Kevin's just a misunderstood legend who's WILD AF. 

Sometimes we discover things that we didn't realize we were passionate about. For example, there's a right and wrong way to eat a burrito, and no one is allowed to argue otherwise. Sure, there are people out there making cursed foods from lucifer's larder all the time, but to go as far as to eat basic stuff the wrong way? That's asking for a fight.

Clearly these people are very confused. It's Tumblr threads like these that remind us there are poor lost souls wandering this world in dire need of an instruction manual for daily life, to avoid sure destruction. If you want some more gold from Tumblr check out this Tumblr thread about the Chilean cat foreman.

Most of us would agree that safety rules are important to follow. But when rules are enforced not on their utility but on the satisfactions of the people getting to abuse them, that's where people get petty. For another story of pettiness, here's a coworker who complained too much about free pizza and encouraged a petty feast.