drunk

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Disclaimer: This failed party trick video doesn't show you anything graphic but feel free to skip this video if you're a bit attached to your nose.

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christmas news drunk elf on the shelf Probably bad News - 8408603904
Via NJ
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From NJ:

Harden located the car, a gray Toyota van, parked by the store's loading dock with its engine running, lights on and music blaring, the lieutenant said.

The driver, Brian Chellis, 23, of Cedar Grove, was asleep behind the wheel, wearing an "Elf on the Shelf" costume, Macintosh said.

After shutting off the car's engine and waking Chellis, the sergeant detected a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath, the lieutenant said.
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taco bell news drunk Probably bad News - 8381377280
Via WFTV
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From WFTV:

An intoxicated New Smyrna Beach man wanted Taco Bell, but employees wouldn't serve him because he was on a bicycle in the drive-through lane, authorities said.

They called New Smyrna Beach police when Gabriel Harris, 33, refused to leave after placing an order at the drive-through window as the restaurant was closing just after 3 a.m. on Sunday.

His is the human condition, the struggle we all face. Bless you, drunk-munchies cyclist guy.