christmas

Hide yo kids, hide wives, hide yo husbands, and definitely hide yo grandmas. The only way we could make this very real life story of a reindeer running amok through the tea-soaked streets of a temporarily improper Nottingham, is if Arnold Shwarzznegger reprised his role from Jingle All The Way, to catch the runaway reindeer.

Somebody must've slipped something in Bjorn the reindeer's eggnog Sunday, because he went buckwild.

"I was putting some Christmas cards up in the window and just saw it come charging down the street," local resident Gemma Green told the Nottingham Post. "Then I saw a group of people following it.

"It was quite strange. It's like the scene from Arthur Christmas where Santa loses his reindeer. I thought I was seeing things at first." Maybe she was, but heck if that's a way to spur some Christmas spirit.

Looking for some hate-filled paper to gift wrap that Hitler teapot you bought last year for your special neo-Nazi someone?

Look no further.

Hallmark has pulled one of its gift wrap designs from stores after complaints that the interlocking lines in the pattern resembled swastikas. A woman in California spotted the paper in the Hanukkah section of a Walgreen's.

"We apologize for the oversight and apologize to anyone who was offended. That obviously was not our intent," said Hallmark spokeswoman Julie Elliott. "It was an oversight on our part to not notice the intersecting lines that could be seen as a swastika pattern."

The design, she said, was originally based on the pattern from a Chinese vase.

I guess that's pretty sketchy...

Remember kids: Sketchy Santa is always watching you! Forever!