chicken

Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.

The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.

If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.

The people of Cheltenham, England were devastated by tragedy in the night. The extent of the fallout from this incident is as yet unknown.  First reported by The Gloucestershire Echo, this sad, entire chicken dinner was found strewn about the pavement early Thursday morning. 

Residents have been reacting on social media, most with compassion, some with outrage over the lack of coverage by 'mainstream' media outlets. 


via @TheMediaTweets, @UcheAmako, @rey_z

Here's hoping the Cheltenham community is able to recover quickly from this incident. Someone will probably start a GoFundMe campaign for it if they haven't already.