best of week

If your baby gets an eyeful of Pampers, consult a professional immediately.

Portland's news station KGW-TV inadvertently hit a comedy gold mine during an interview with this local resident who suddenly derails from her witness account to reveal that "the vacuum cleaner man," who is presumably involved in the story at large, has seen her t*ts. "I know that's not going on TV, but it's true. I'm not here to lie to you," she said.