Subway

Nope. Nope. Nope.

An Oregon man found an whole rodent just chillin' inside his Subway sandwich. And if you think this is faked, like so many of these stories before, think again!

The state health department has confirmed that this actually took place.

Just look at that little guy—all comfy under a warm bed of spinach.

Matt Jones witnessed the mouse go into his friend's sandwich.

"It's the funniest thing I've ever seen, but it's also the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," Jones told KWG8. "I laughed because I was like, there is no way this just happened."

The only ray of hope is that the rodent probably didn't come from inside the Subway, but from the spinach company.

On second thought, that's actually not better at all.

Fashion Emergency!

You know those terrible "Flatizzas" Subway makes? After ordering one without the sauce (because "I can't eat that stuff"), Bevalente Michette Hall called the police. She was later jailed for three minutes on a $2,000 bail for her efforts.