Father

Turns out sugar isn't just for destroying car engines. When this couple decided that their bathroom should look different than how they asked for two weeks before, payed half and demanded the guy finish the job, he took revenge into his own hands. Revenge on customers isn't exactly advisable, but boy is it satisfying to hear about.

So apparently if you don't keep an urn sealed well enough, the human remains inside turn into a formidable brick of your loved one. Luckily, we live in 2018 so you can go to the internet for answers. And especially luckily, people have more to offer than just a simple solution. They also have terrifically dark one-liners.