Father

In true Henry the 8th fashion, this guy has decided he wants a son to carry on his family name. Judging by some of the criteria here, it looks like the kind of thing an entitled person who makes laughable demands would try to pull off. It's unclear if writing up a big offer full of rules and ultimatums is a good way to carry on one's genes, but hey, most of us haven't tried. Either way, This dude is making some pretty wild promises about his future kid.

So apparently if you don't keep an urn sealed well enough, the human remains inside turn into a formidable brick of your loved one. Luckily, we live in 2018 so you can go to the internet for answers. And especially luckily, people have more to offer than just a simple solution. They also have terrifically dark one-liners.

Turns out sugar isn't just for destroying car engines. When this couple decided that their bathroom should look different than how they asked for two weeks before, payed half and demanded the guy finish the job, he took revenge into his own hands. Revenge on customers isn't exactly advisable, but boy is it satisfying to hear about.