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There's a tradition in the U.S. navy that no submarine is lost at sea, and every Christmas a broadcast is sent out to all the crews of those subs still on duty. Naturally, tumblr took it and made it into a whole ghost ship thing, which is somehow macabre but also heartwarming. Why not, people see some unexplained stuff at sea. For a totally classic navy story, here's a Navy operations officer who pulled the laziest move ever.

Strap in for this wild story about a guy's totally insane ex-girlfriend!

We love a good Funny Tweet so check out some more here. 

So this guy knows that he's bad at cooking, absolutely hates cooking, but still insists on secretly adding stuff? That's some weird junk, man. It's like having a narcissistic spicy-salt gremlin lurking in your house. In terms of cooking themed childishness it's a little bit like this picky eater husband who demanded fancier meals.

Karen thought she could get through on a lie, but had another thing coming when tech support got wise to her BS. For a more direct approach, here's a boss who used an eye gag to remove some problem customers. And sometimes, fellow customers join in, like this customer who weaponized the tip jar to defeat a Karen.

Harvey's Supermarket in Albany, Ga. ended up being the unexpected, though perfect setting for two lovebirds to tie the knot. Mary and Larry Tinson reunited at Harvey's Supermarket where they originally met four years ago on Thanksgiving when they were looking for last-minute recipe additions, to get married. Congrats to these two!

This epic Twitter tale comes from @_zolarmoon, and has the Internet clamoring with questions and theories about it's validity. Real or not real, this is a great American story.

As you can imagine, this story is Not Safe For Work.

These instances might remind you that you're actually doing pretty well for yourself in the whole brain department. Hot damn, it's like life is a race to see who can do the dumbest thing ever. We absolutely love it. And boy people are dumb a lot.