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You Were Too Young for This, Raisin

City - December 22 at 8:40pm Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets THEONION.COM Share The air in Chicago... The air they breathe... Is 75%. As in a majority... Bullets... As in firearms... Woah. December 22 at 8:47pm

RIP to the Fair People of Chicago

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Next She'll Be Looking Up the Melting Temperature of Steel...

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It's Not Often That The Onion Gets Someone's Hopes Up This Much

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Serve the Kid Up Julienne, Please

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GMOh No, the Hippies Are Mad

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"I Like the Concept"

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For Once We Wish This Onion Headline Was the Real Deal

Text - The Onion 12 hrs the OO In Focus: Facebook Version Of Marriage Going Great SAN JOSE, CA-Citing the numerous photos and status updates that the couple regularly post online, sources confirmed Wednesday that the Face book version of Annie and Colin Wheeler's eight-year marriage is going extremely well. Several of... THEONION.COM Like Comment Share 9,713169 1,465 9,713 people like this. 1,465 shares Why is this "news", who are these people? E Like Reply1 8 hrs G This is the best comment to a

Please Tell Me More About These Completely Real People

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Yes, the Doctor is Definitely the Idiot Here

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So Brave, Such a Photographer

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Praise be to Genes!

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Even if it's a Joke?

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Make Satire Great Again Also

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Strap on Your Moon Boots and Try to Reach the Heights of This Brave Man

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Nine Minutes of Guitar Noodling Later, Nugent is Still Alive