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Mystery Canadian Thief Jacks $100K Worth of Blueberries, Hilarious Twitter Reactions Ensue

The Great Canadian Blueberry Heist needs to be a movie in my lifetime. That's all there is to it. I will accept nothing less. This is one of those double take-worthy kinds of stories: you see it jump across your social media feed, doubt everything about it, and proceed to have your world rocked as you develop a strange craving for Blueberry Pie. Yo, for real thoug. It's got everything I could want in a slice of crime: the big getaway, the ridiculousness of $100K of blueberries being stolen, and the fact that it's a tale of thievery with Canadian roots. 

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By Unknown
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Do you often fantasize that nations and world leaders are your sassy facebook friends? Check out more of their latest status updates at College Humor!

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By Unknown
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Guess I should go fire up that old radio to get my news updates.

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Martin Shkreli Is Staging an Auction to Let One Very Lucky Person Punch Him in the Face, and the Internet's Already Fired Up

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about punching Martin Shrekli in the face amidst the plethora of irritating news about the latest dumb thing the jackass said? Yeah, well, turns out Shkreli is feeling extra charitable these days; and in an attempt to raise money for the son of his friend Mike Kulich--the XHamster publicist who passed away--he's letting the highest bidder punch him in the face.

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Via Uproxx
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Transgender writer and activist Janet Mock recently went on the air with resident poopstain extraordinaire Pierce Morgan. After Morgan delivered a string of backhanded compliments and proved that he knew virtually nothing about the Trans community (while simultaneously cutting her off at every point), Mock took to social media to give him the what for.