married

Mark Zuckerberg married his girlfriend of nine years, Priscilla Chan, in a surprise ceremony yesterday. The guests arrived expecting a party to celebrate Chan's completion of med school, but were greeting with wedding vows instead. The surprise event was especially awkward for "that guy" who always shows up to parties several hours late.

You best watch who you hit on when you're a married man, because it could be a model with 13,000 Twitter followers. Brian Presley did not take this advice to heart, as the "actor" you've probably not seen on such shows as General Hospital and 7th Heaven has been married for all of the last ten years.

Of all the ways to FAIL at hitting on strangers, this is one of the worst.

A match made in crappy rock/pop heaven: Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger of Nickelback are engaged to be married. Sk8rs gonna sk8, but I do have this to say to Avril Lavigne: you better not get in the way of Chad's involvement with Nickelback. Who else would I turn to for my dose of edgy yet radio-friendly pop rock besides Green Day, Shinedown, Five Finger Death Punch, Anberlin, 3 Doors Down, Seether, Guns N' Roses, Hinder, Buckcherry, Papa Roach, Chevelle, Avenged Sevenfold, Everlast, Drowning Pool, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Rise Against, Theory of a Deadman, Fuel, Daughtry, or Three Days Grace? WHO, I ask you!

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