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Legendary Idiot Live-Tweets His Trip to the ER After Getting a Dildo Stuck in His Ass

Let this guy's epically messed up tale be a message to us all....it could always be worse. This one's obviously been around for a while, but we had to bring it back, cause damn, it might be one of the most harrowing live-tweet stories to ever surface on the internet. Ever.

guy ends up at the er with a dildo stuck in his ass
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Live Tweeting of the Day: Patton Oswalt Gave a Better Performance than any Candidate at the GOP Debate



Twitter deity, and great comedian, Patton Oswalt took one for the American team Aug. 6 and live-tweeted his perspective on the first Repbublican primary debate.

The enormous affair hosted the top 10 candidates highest in the polls. It gave a scant two hours for them to differentiate themselves from each other and attempt to not talk about the rich elephant in the room — Donald Trump.

twitter Patton Oswalt live tweet GOP Debate - 595461
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Girl Live-Tweets About Returning Misplaced Phone, Reveals Siri Is an Unreliable Snitch That's Way Too Liberal With Private Info

What a time to be alive: impressively helpful woman finds a lost and homeless iPhone in a cab, proceeds to glean all private deals - whereabouts (address/where car is parked) - from an all too voluntary snitch of a Siri. For real though. Shoutout to Siri for not failing to dispel some intimate details to a total stranger. Imagine if this little live-tweeted tale took a turn down horror movie lane...just saying, suggesting really, that there are certain people out there that you do not want knowing where you live.

twitter siri technology live tweet iphone - 1612549
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Artist Leaves $15K Worth of Coins Along Canal and Live-Tweets What Happens

The guy had to have known how this little social experiment would turn out. At least he used pennies. 

Artist leaves 15,000 pennies along canal and proceeds to live-tweet what happens.
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Dude Goes on Date With Former Olive Garden Manager and Live-Tweets Hilarious String of Employee Secrets

When an Olive Garden runs out of breadsticks, complete and unadulterated (World War III level) chaos breaks out; that and so much more was revealed in what might be my new favorite live-tweet experience of 2017. Stoked this person shared all these juicy deets. 

twitter olive garden live tweet food dating - 1990917
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Dude on Twitter Live-Tweets Hilarious Breakdown on the Perils of An Orgy

The consistently comedically gifted WeNotSucks hopped on Twitter yesterday to run a relatable analysis on the ups and downs of an orgy. His thought-stirring stream of tweets actually managed to spotlight the likely concerns of any sexual deviants out there considering giving the group sex thing a run. Initially, you'd kind of assume any thirsty man out there would jump at the chance of uninhibited group sex, but the further you get into this dude's thought process, the less that seems true!

funny orgy twitter thoughts
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Shocked British Guy Live-Tweets His Garden Getting Devoured By 30-Foot Sinkhole

If anyone out there thought they were having a tough week, just remember it could be worse, you could be this dude...Mr. Ben Bramley of Ripon, UK.

sinkhole WoW twitter live tweet British natural disaster - 1132549
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Enraged Bride Live-Tweets Terrible Customer Service from W Hotel on the Night of Her Honeymoon

W Hotel sure has a funny way of maintaining that supposed 4-star rating. The way they treat this newlywed couple managed to bring tears to strangers' eyes too.

angry bride tweets
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Girl Live Tweets Cringe-Soaked Date With Old Man She Met On OkCupid

OkCupid never fails to keep things outside the borders of reasonable expectations. This extremely awkward live tweet tale captures the weirdness of the dating app perfectly. What do you think though? Did she pass up an opportunity to enjoy the sexual services of an old dog with 80+ years experience, or dodge a tired and hungry bullet?

Girl live-tweets extremely entertaining and awkward date with old man she meets through OkCupid Dating Service.
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