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  • dad jokes

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    Watch Britain's Cruelest Father of the Bride Pull off the Perfect Wedding Prank

    Author image for mattstaff mattstaff
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    funniest dad tweets of the week - Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland Why would I pay for a haunted house when I can wake up to my kid silently standing by my bed at 5 AM.

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    Author image for satirequeen satirequeen
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    funny twitter image mom joke at it's best

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    Employee is frustrated with the younger new hire, as he has been training her for months, but she still has first-day questions, he thinks she should be laid off, but management isn't sure: 'I just don't know what [redacted] else to do!'

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    IT employee refuses to take on extra non-IT responsibilities after a coworker quits following a missed promotion: 'I'm not willing to quietly inherit years of accumulated non-IT scope creep'

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    Rural landowner leases 80 acres of farmland to a neighbor, a politician, to farm—neighbor plants illegal corn, plows through the landowner's driveway—tries to deny ever signing a contract when cops arrive, loses elected seat: 'I showed him the contract'

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    Employee gets denied a raise three years in a row after being told budgets are tight, does some digging and returns with an answer management can't ignore: ‘His whole posture changed’

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    Restaurant server shows up for her shift exactly on time, manager threatens to fire her anyways: ‘I was supposed to show up 30 minutes before my work time.’

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    Homeowner refuses to replace bushes cut on her own property or pay for a fence after her neighbor blames it for unrelated problems months later: ‘His insurance won’t let him keep his dirt bikes in the garage anymore’

    Homeowner refuses to replace bushes cut on her own property or pay for a fence after her neighbor blames it for unrelated problems months later: ‘His insurance won’t let him keep his dirt bikes in the garage anymore’

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