Subway

It turns out Jared's famed "Subway diet" wasn't so much a "diet" as it was a horrific process of brainwashing and forced servitude.

Can YOU order Subway™ without stuttering, pausing, or hemming and hawing? Try it today!

(We swear this isn't an ad)

(You don't have to go to Subway if you don't want to. We're sure there are plenty of other fine sandwich establishments in your area. Hell, if you don't want a sandwich, maybe you could get Chinese instead. It's UP TO YOU)

C'mon Subway, you have some real 'Sandwich Artists' working for you...

Touché.

What say you?

Pls pl0x.

Nope, I want it burned...