yahoo answers

She probably saw it coming and wanted to see how many insulting, but practical, gifts you would give her before she left.

Right up there with "where does the Sun go at night?"

If this relationship is ever going to work, Zach will need to completely deny the existence of females outside of his girlfriend. And totally surrender control of his privacy to said girlfriend. Is that so much to ask?

If she were saying "Justin" or "Edward" it would be more normal. But Jake? WHO IS JAKE?

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It's fine, you can speak in the first person. And congratulations on having such high self-esteem - not many people can say "I have such a good body" so directly. Maybe you should date yourself; at least you're much closer to your own age.