wait what

Do you feel like you're constantly pissing off women but have no clue why? Know that you're not alone in this.

The fact that Fifty Shades of Grey is pornographic is really the least of its problems.

Object Sexuality (n) - a pronounced emotional and often romantic desire towards developing significant relationships with particular inanimate objects. I hope these couples are very happy together, and that the human-amusement park ride fusion children one day take over the Earth.

Seattleite Babylonia Aivaz (yep, that's her real name) declared her undying love for and married a warehouse scheduled for demolition as a gentrification protest. She says her "heart is tied to this warehouse," and specified that since the warehouse is female (well obviously) it's a gay marriage. However, the building is slated to be completely demolished by mid-February, so she could just be a gold digger.

As strange as this story is, people

As if Rick Santorum's political aspirations didn't have enough problems, one of his supporters said on live television that everyone's making too big a fuss about silly things like sexual rights and just shove some aspirin up there, like they did in "his day."

Courtesy of Pundit Kitchen, your one-stop shop for political LOLs (because there's so very, very much to LOL at).