video games

When you'd rather hear the grating squeak of preteens yelling about how they shot your ass in Call of Duty instead of your girlfriend's sultry voice, you know you've got a problem.

Because they're both the same damn thing.

Because we can't make this stuff up: introducing Hatoful Boyfriend, a Japanese dating sim where you're a human girl at a high school populated entirely by pigeons, and one pudgie who acts as the school doctor. In the game, you meet and interact with the student birdies body, and select one (or more) to pursue romantically.

Once more for emphasis: you are a human girl at a high school for pigeons and the game is to seduce said pigeons.

Twists and turns abound at St. PigeoNation's Institute (the school), including one character who's secretly a ghost, one who will murder you and put your head in a box if you're not careful, and a secret Board of Shadowy [Pigeon] Figures that rules the world. Check after the jump for a gameplay video.

Skyrim will steal your life away.

She definitely gets into it: you can really see the hurt behind her eyes, the pained expression, and yes, of course the sheer virtual reality-ridden ignorance of our racer gamer of the hour. I mean hey, it's hard out here for a dude to hit those checkpoints on the road to topping high score, am I right?

Hopefully he didn't fail his mission, because he's clearly one 'game over' from taking up residence in the doghouse.