revenge

Here's what the husband wrote for the ad:

Due to be married soon? Not planning on staying faithful? Want to sleep with one of your soon-to-be husband's closest friends? Then THIS is the wedding dress for you!

This stunning, tuille swathed, ivory bridal gown has a proven track record of producing an adulterous, deceitful, double-crossing and traitorous "soulmate".

A one of a kind garment designed by Benedict Arnold, believed to be derived from the very cloth Judas Iscariot himself wore to the Garden of Gethsemane to betray the only son of God – Jesus Christ.

This harlot-sized ensemble will make you the envy of your trampish posse on your fraudulent wedding day.

As an added bonus, this dress gives you the "entitlement" to legally obtain over half of your husband-to-be's worldly possessions.

This dress is guaranteed to provide you with approximately two years of reasonable wedded mediocrity before the complete and utter disintegration of your relationship due to your extramarital promiscuity.

Cosmetically, the garment is in better condition than the marriage – not looking for much. Make an offer.

Get gone like gonorrhea.

When revenge in the context of getting back at a cheating SO that cruelly strayed off the path of promises, what comes to mind? I mean shit, we've seen all the extremes, thanks to the interwebs --- crazy Tinder takeovers, volatile public breakups (that live-tweet post yesterday for example), and then the occasional more fiery (or just literally) tale of a relationship otherwise up in flames.



Well here, here we have pure stupidity or just blind rage-induced insanity. Yep, as if out of a movie, after discovering her husband had gone and cheated on her, Sandra Milena Almeida proceeded to prepare herself a pricey buffet of $100 bills, totaling $7K. Even worse it turns out that money was being saved up for a family vacation.

When she was inevitably rushed into the hospital, Juan Pablo Serrano, chief surgeon at the Santander University Hospital in Bucaramanga mistook her for a drug mule. Wow. The doctors went and surgically extracted 57 bills from her stomach and intestine, which means at least $1.3K is about to be deposited...in the toilet. Most expensive shit ever, man. Hope it was worth it. 

Okay, 1) a relationship between an illiterate tween and a grammar nazi would never last long anyway, 2) I find it interesting that the grammar nazi doesn't care so much about punctuation, as the ex gf has missed several commas and apostrophes, 3) so the ex gf was in her boyfriend's house without his being there? Otherwise she would have just told him right away in person instead of by text. How strange.