murder

"The Beige Dahlia" is like the Black Dahlia, except instead of getting sliced in half after a date she gets a mild bruise after trying, and failing, to walk drunk in high heels.

I'd be careful who you text that to...

Noela Rukundo lived happily in Australia with her husband Balenga Kalala until she left to visit her the country of Burundi where she grew up for her stepmother's funeral. 

In Burundi, she stepped out for some air after finishing a phone call with her loving husband to meet a man with a gun pointed at her.  Under the threat of death, she did what he told her to do and was taken to a secluded place where her kidnappers met with other gang members. Fortunately for her, the hitmen her husband sent to kill her were principled. 

They told her they don't kill women and children so after some theatrics over the phone, during which she heard her own husband command them to "Kill her" and the hitmen demanded more money and told him that she was dead. 

With evidence from her would-be killers she headed home to crash her own funeral. She showed up right as mourning friends and family were leaving her husband's home.


via ABC

What kind of thing would you say to the person you love who tried to have you murdered?  Rukundo told the BBC she just said, "Surprise! I'm still alive!"