masturbation

When you're going away from home for a while, you need to make sure that while you're gone your cats are fed, your mail's taken in, and your boyfriend is pleasured.

I wonder if Darth Vader ever uses his force choke for this?

Necessity is the mother of invention.

Better question: Who would want to?

Just enjoy yourself.

The laptop screen must be playing reruns of Golden Girls. That must be it.