jealous

Cars driven by jealous lovers: the leading cause of Florida property damage (hurricanes are a close second). When Schyvonne Whitaker saw her boyfriend talking to another woman sitting in her Pontiac G6, she immediately gave chase in her Suzuki XL7 SUV. Both cars ended up running off the road, and smashing side-by-side through a house.

Bonus: Whitaker's license had 24 active suspensions on it, and her rap sheet included aggravated motor vehicle battery, aggravated motor vehicle assault, three years in jail, and providing false identification when she tried to conceal her record by misspelling her name (is there a correct way to spell that name?).

See more auto carnage at That Will Buff Out!

Or else jacked up on drugs. Or both.

Just because I didn't want to date you doesn't mean other people can!

And so begins a heated debate about double standards!

If this relationship is ever going to work, Zach will need to completely deny the existence of females outside of his girlfriend. And totally surrender control of his privacy to said girlfriend. Is that so much to ask?

The original Reddit poster transcribed this Declaration of Neediness for all to read:

*1. No looking around.
*2. No sensitive topics (i.e girls)
*3. No phonecalls after 12
*4. No spending money
*5. Plan and organise days before playing xbox
*6. be over the top sweet all the time
*7. call when upset
*8. Tell me if you're going out
*9. Warn if boner (that's a little disturbing)
*10. Look away if girls are on the screen
*11. No aggression.
*12. No excuses
*13. No other websites
*14. Listen
*15. No looking at internet without her.