baseball

And then mid-text, Dad remembered that Katelyn doesn't even play baseball.

Girl you can box score that as a backwards K, bro wasn't even ready.

Yeah, she actually answers, and real talk: it's a buzzkill for us all. Turns out Verlander's too focused before the game, and too exhausted after the game.

Bro, have you not read the historical war tales of pre-battle glory that involved many a shield and sword-brandishing soldier sticking their 'other swords' into whatever woman would have them, as a ritualistic mind-clearing pick-me-up? And you're with Kate Upton! Madness. 

That lesson is: don't play baseball.

Oakland Athletics pitcher Brandon McCarthy recently suffered a concussion after being hit in the head with a line drive. Upon being discharged from California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco, it's clear that his mind is back to functioning correctly.

You too can catch one of Derek Jeter's 3000 ex-girlfriends on the rebound!