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The date went splendidly until Jimmy started drawing penises all over Big Bird and crude breasts on Smurfette. He spent the rest of the night in the time-out corner while Jenny's mom, finally giving in to Jenny's insistent wails, went out to buy a new coloring book.

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Ex-Disney Channel Star Tweets Dick Pic Saying It Isn't Her Ex-Boyfriend's, Twitter Proceeds to Lose Its Mind

Yes, I'm well aware. We're dealing with a whole lotta weirdness let loose to run around. Where to start and where to end? We've got the ex-Disney Channel Star Ms. Bella Thorne element of this which is uncomfortable enough already, and then you factor in her need to not only tweet a dick pic, but claim it's not her ex-boyfriend's? Yo, this shitness screams seven kinds of emotionally trainrekt.

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7 Wonderfully Weird Sex Toys

Our sex lives can say a lot about us as a person, but I'm not sure what the hell any of these toys would tell you about someone's personality. Their existence simply begs the question "why".

However, I could see each of these little darlings fitting right in on the Island of Misfit Sex Toys.

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The etymology of the word "vajankle" is exactly what you think it is. Get yours here, then consider professional help.

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Well well, look at what we have here. I thought this crazy kind of morally devoid behavior was reserved for the vile, syrup-soaked confines of the nearest Waffle House establishment --- a place I might add that serves up World Star Hip Hop beatdowns with the Eggs Benedict dinner special. Can't beat that kind of customer service right? Granted, this footage is no more than a display of a couple of looney lovebirds higher off horniness for one another than Jesse Pinkman fresh off a Blue Crystal bender.

See for yourself. In this case, thank god for censorship.