MLB

By Unknown
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You too can catch one of Derek Jeter's 3000 ex-girlfriends on the rebound!

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Yeah, she actually answers, and real talk: it's a buzzkill for us all. Turns out Verlander's too focused before the game, and too exhausted after the game.

Bro, have you not read the historical war tales of pre-battle glory that involved many a shield and sword-brandishing soldier sticking their 'other swords' into whatever woman would have them, as a ritualistic mind-clearing pick-me-up? And you're with Kate Upton! Madness.