Chart

According to this Very Scientific and Completely Robust Study*, this is a chart ranking the average size of... uh... dude parts in the United States. High fives to the Dakotas, maybe there's something to those flyover states after all...

*Note: Study based on the frequency of online purchases of plus-sized condoms. So, you know, that doesn't really mean anything.

It's a vicious bell curve, but you have to look presentable in order to attract the fairer sex.

Although I guess if one person doesn't provide all three of those things for you, you could just have three people who provide one thing each, right?

What? Batman nice? We must be reading different comic books.

Click here and read the full article on Quartz, The Uncomfortable Racial Preferences Revealed by Online Dating".