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This is why relationships between intelligent women and hunky shirtless men don't last long.

Hahaha, just kidding. Sorry, less-hunky shirted men and knuckle-dragging women.

A simple solution would be to not read other people's text messages.

What are you trying to say about British people?

The most hurtful grammar nazi attacks are the ones that skillfully combine lessons in possessive pronouns with an unsympathetic performance review of one's genitalia.

Although if she's going to give a lesson on grammar, she'd better make sure she's using the correct verb form of the first-person plural ("so we don't sound like an uneducated dumb fck").

Dear Diary, today a stranger generously corrected my grammar for me. I learned valuable lessons about parts of speech and I hope my spoken English adheres more faithfully to standard usage. Thank you, kind stranger, thank you.