Valentines day

The best valentines day poem I could *come* up with

Over/under on how many roses it takes to get make-up sex...

I'm not sure whether I should squee or puke...

"Siri, will we be together forever?" asked the user. "Even longer" Siri answered.

Now everyone's super choosy and I'm just alone with my creys.

From the submitter:

What can I say to my bestfriend on such a cliche day? Something that will get a rise out her. What is a BFF with a vast library of bathroom humor to do?!

Today I learned that "foams" is slang for "shoes." I'm very white.