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You see, Yellow Pages, there's this thing called the internet. It fits in our pocket and weighs considerably less than a thousand pages of pulped wood fibers. I'm sorry, but it's time to move on.

This is what they call in professional circles the "proactively implementing optimal workplace conditions for productivity."

When I grow up, I want to be an iPod bounty hunter. I'll work only for the highest bidder.

Have you tried switching it off and then back on again?

Oh, you must have been thinking of our sister site Auto Cow Wrecks, your #1 destination for cow-meets-car FAILs on the intertubes!

I was going to buy the phone to put it in my own aquarium so that my fish could use it BUT I GUESS IT WON'T BE SO MUCH FUN FOR MY FISH NOW.

Man, you can really buy everything in Thailand.