parenting

Rather than clean his room, the child fled the safety of his suburban home and foraged for Twinkie crumbs and Velveeta wrappers in the neighbors' garbage.

I love how the recipient reflexively responds with "Love ya <3" before s/he goes "Wait a minute, I'm not flying."

You know what? Let's make this a thing. Instead of all the navel-gazing GPOY (Gratuitous Pictures Of Yourself) I see everywhere, let's spread the love and start sharing GPOO (Gratuitous Pictures Of Others) to each other. Much less self-centered and a better way to show our friends we care. The only thing to fix is the acronym GPOO. The less it sounds like poop, the better.

Hey! Kid! Get out of the way, you! Great, now I'm a child pornographer. THANKS.