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From infuriated to peachy in .5 seconds.

That sh*t cray, mom.

When parents join Facebook, it's like getting bound and gagged with a suit and tie while your friends are all circling you in a conga line.

Takes one to be spawned by one.

Almost correctly. It's the "Are you f**king kidding me" face and not the "I'm SERIOUS and I MEAN it" face. Still, close enough. 8/10.

This is an ancient and time-honored mom tactic.

You might be confused by the "Meeple" and "Mupple" exchange at the beginning, but a quick trip to Urban Dictionary clears things up.

Meeple:
A generic term for little wooden figures used in german board gaming.

Mupple: A mixed-race heterosexual couple, of which one partner, generally the male, is of Caucasian appearance and the other partner, generally the female, is of South-East Asian appearance.

That makes sense! So the son/daughter was pontificating to "Dad" about the apparent lack of control any of us has over our lives, like pawns on a chessboard or meeples in a German board game, and "Dad" responded that by pairing ourselves into loving and supportive but unconventional relationships (such as, just for example, a mupple), we can often soothe the pang of life's persistent existential uncertainty. This segues perfectly into the son/daughter discussing his/her preferences when finding suitable partners.

This sums up Christmas morning for at least 30 people.

From the submitter:

"Uh. I mean. Yeah! How dare you forget! Buy me a new car?"

I'm l33ting so hard right now.

Parents have sex too.

From the autocowrecked:

This simple conversation between my mom and I turned sooo wrrrong :::----)))))

You're leaning heavily on the sarcasm, Andy, but people still like autocowrecks if they're funny. Whether it's fake or not hardly matters.