marriage

Presenting the second most inappropriate time to text. The most inappropriate time is when you're a pall bearer at a funeral.

Butthole is unacceptable, but douche canoe gets a free pass. This makes perfect sense, because "douche canoe" has been scientifically proven to be the sixth-most hilarious two-word phrase in the English language.

Best reply from my girlfriend to a forwarded sickapedia joke!!

Alright, so once we allow teh gays to marry, we need to put robots next on the checklist. We'll win this, state by state.

From the submitter:

So my fiance really wants to have a baby.

I'm not sure "really wants" is strong enough, dude. "Passionately craves" might be closer.

Drat, why does "Son" have to be so close to "Marriage Counselor" on my contacts list?

And on that romantic note, I bid you adieu.

When a robot "speaks" in ALL CAPS, I usually expect there to be more shouting involved. At least some flashing lights in the background.