marriage

By Unknown
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Presenting the second most inappropriate time to text. The most inappropriate time is when you're a pall bearer at a funeral.

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By Unknown
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Alright, so once we allow teh gays to marry, we need to put robots next on the checklist. We'll win this, state by state.

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By Unknown
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Drat, why does "Son" have to be so close to "Marriage Counselor" on my contacts list?

By Unknown
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When a robot "speaks" in ALL CAPS, I usually expect there to be more shouting involved. At least some flashing lights in the background.

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By Rory
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Best reply from my girlfriend to a forwarded sickapedia joke!!

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By Victor
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From the submitter:

So my fiance really wants to have a baby.

I'm not sure "really wants" is strong enough, dude. "Passionately craves" might be closer.

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By Busted Kate (Via www.thebirdflipper.com)
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Butthole is unacceptable, but douche canoe gets a free pass. This makes perfect sense, because "douche canoe" has been scientifically proven to be the sixth-most hilarious two-word phrase in the English language.