Lord of the Rings

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"The Precious" would be a lot more precious if it gave you a seven-day forecast and the quickest route to Mount Doom.

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The only way to find out what a woman wants is to send her pair of midgets bearing antique jewelry of malevolent power. Bitches love antique jewelry of malevolent power.

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There's no feeling of inadequacy worse than seeing a brilliant drawing of something that you saved because it looked funny.