jealous

You don't kill ninjas. They kill you.

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Gurrl, I don't care if you just got a new phone or not, if you have to play games like these, it's probably not working out.

Sleeping with the dog while texting is the best. Sometimes he'll text for you!

(R-r-r-repost!)

Don't tell me it's your sister again, I KNOW YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME.

Siri's just trying to look out for you!