grandma

From the autocowrecked:

This simple conversation between my mom and I turned sooo wrrrong :::----)))))

You're leaning heavily on the sarcasm, Andy, but people still like autocowrecks if they're funny. Whether it's fake or not hardly matters.

From the submitter:

I was afraid to ask anyone else

Maybe you could go back in time and text Hitler's grandson. You've been given a terrible curse, but it could also be a great gift. With great power comes great responsibility etc. etc.