flirting

Everything seems to go according to plan, until you ask her out and she responds "Noo" with two o's.

Then why is there a screenshot that clearly shows this conversation happening? It's almost as if someone faked it or something ...

Of all the things to associate with your vagina, "vice" shouldn't be at the top of your list.

She should set her inbox filter to deny scrubs.

The sender must have been talking about the 2011 TV on the Radio single "You." She's got good taste!

THAT'S WHY YOU SAY THESE THINGS IN PERSON

NOT OVER YOUR EXPENSIVE TOY

ARE YOU MAD

In this analogy, the exploding bomb is the girl replying "Ewww, gross, you're a creepy schmuck and I award you two out of ten hottie points" and ignoring me. My bomb-ravaged body represents my self-esteem.

With perfectly normal and fully-functional legs, apparently.

From the submitter:

We smooched twice, in July...

That must have been a whopper of a smooch. A smooch to end all smooches.