flirting

Gee, I wonder who those 11 messages are from.

Everything seems to go according to plan, until you ask her out and she responds "Noo" with two o's.

From the submitter:

We smooched twice, in July...

That must have been a whopper of a smooch. A smooch to end all smooches.

With perfectly normal and fully-functional legs, apparently.

THAT'S WHY YOU SAY THESE THINGS IN PERSON

NOT OVER YOUR EXPENSIVE TOY

ARE YOU MAD

Men! Good grammar is like fresh breath and a clean shirt! Never go without it when you're impressing the ladies. Also, it can lead to some confusion...

Then why is there a screenshot that clearly shows this conversation happening? It's almost as if someone faked it or something ...

Great. Now I have the theme song from Rocket Power stuck in my head. THANKS A LOT.

Space pants? Really? That's the worst one-liner I've heard since "toilet store."

In this analogy, the exploding bomb is the girl replying "Ewww, gross, you're a creepy schmuck and I award you two out of ten hottie points" and ignoring me. My bomb-ravaged body represents my self-esteem.

From the submitter:

Actual text from a man re online dating