ex

I still remember how he let his urine sit in the toilet bowl until the bathroom smelled like rancid cheddar... its color a varying shade of yellow, depending on how many cups of cherry kool-aid he'd had that day. I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

I even tattooed you to my back!

...and what shows up whenever my ex calls:

Not even the gentle, soothing humor of an autocowreck can mend the hole where his heart used to be.

The error message should end with:

Do you want to have a good cry about it? Yes / No

It might seem like a harsh reason to dump somebody, but have you ever tried to crack open an unshorn coconut? It's more trouble than it's worth. #thirdworldproblems

Going off the rails.

FEELINGS. About EXES.

That's about right. Sometimes they hang out with neon dinosaurs.