ex

...and what shows up whenever my ex calls:

Going off the rails.

The error message should end with:

Do you want to have a good cry about it? Yes / No

SICK BURN SISTAH

I even tattooed you to my back!

Not even the gentle, soothing humor of an autocowreck can mend the hole where his heart used to be.

It might seem like a harsh reason to dump somebody, but have you ever tried to crack open an unshorn coconut? It's more trouble than it's worth. #thirdworldproblems

That's about right. Sometimes they hang out with neon dinosaurs.