Whenever someone's having a heart attack, the first thing to do is hold an engrossing conversation with them. Act intensely interested in everything they say, because they're likely doing it for attention.
JUST KIDDING KIDS DON'T DO THIS CALL 911
If this were real, the transcript would probably read something like this.
Slick. He's flirting even while admitting that he's doing it. Still, what kind of emergency system takes an hour to respond?
Trolled to death.