Hey I think your cell phone is buzzing. These cellular puns will have you dialing for more in no time.
The iPhone fanboy whiners will never rest until they're the only ones who can fake photography.
Really, dude? What would Ted Nugent say if he saw you right now?
Attaching pepper spray to my cell phone is a surefire recipe for me accidentally blinding some poor innocent in a bar while I'm texting a friend.
Even better: just wander around the streets looking lost, and when someone asks you what you're doing, tell them that you're roaming! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... never mind.
This is what they call in professional circles the "proactively implementing optimal workplace conditions for productivity."