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"gon 2 transubstanti8 sum bread lol brb"

I'll bet I know where he got that story from...

The man is a born social media promoter: few scruples, no conscience.

Not cool, dude. Not cool.

Whenever anyone says "it's me" via text, you can safely assume that he or she is over the age of 50 and has been texting for fewer than one year.

Hey girl, Imma say hi and add a pic of my smoldering gaze so you know I really mean it.

That... that would hurt, right?

There's at least one mama out there who's desperate for some babies.