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The man is a born social media promoter: few scruples, no conscience.

Johanaaaaaa doesn't want to hear about the music playing at a bar she isn't in anyway.

"gon 2 transubstanti8 sum bread lol brb"

From the submitter:

Maybe I should have told them I was Optimus Prime....

Whenever anyone says "it's me" via text, you can safely assume that he or she is over the age of 50 and has been texting for fewer than one year.

Let's hope that "bud" refers to "Budweiser" and not the "marih-joo-wanna" that the kids are so into these days.

There's at least one mama out there who's desperate for some babies.