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I'll bet I know where he got that story from...

From the submitter:

Maybe I should have told them I was Optimus Prime....

"gon 2 transubstanti8 sum bread lol brb"

The man is a born social media promoter: few scruples, no conscience.

It'll save him a rightfully earned lecture on how a grown man doesn't know how to boil corn.

From the submitter:

I got a random text from a number and I decided to play with the person. Note that my texts are green. Funny part is, they're from Puerto Rico and I'm from Central NJ!

Let's hope that "bud" refers to "Budweiser" and not the "marih-joo-wanna" that the kids are so into these days.

Whenever anyone says "it's me" via text, you can safely assume that he or she is over the age of 50 and has been texting for fewer than one year.

Hey girl, Imma say hi and add a pic of my smoldering gaze so you know I really mean it.