Death

Great, now I have no reason to read this biography at all.

Seminal blues singer Etta James passed away today after a long battle with leukemia at the age of 73. She released dozens of memorable albums and singles since she started singing in 1954 at the age of 15. Among her hits are "Good Rockin' Daddy," "W.O.M.A.N," and "At Last," of which the latter song will probably create a slew of too-soon jokes like the one above.

More recently, James was portrayed by Beyonce Knowles in the 2008 film Cadillac Records, and the Obamas selected "At Last" for their first dance at the 2009 inaugural ball.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1uunRdQ61M]

Machete doesn't care about your fool contacts list, either.

You're welcome, young stranger! Unless this is spam in which case go die in a fire.

Sometimes I think cheesy texting (chexting) is the worse thing in the world, but then I stumble across some corny texting (coxting) or some cutesy texting (cuxting) that's even worse. And I can never, ever forget some of the terrible lovey-dovey texting (loxting-doxting) and sappy texting (sappxting) conversations I've read. Basically I'm annoyed by all of them.

From the submitter:

I was afraid to ask anyone else

Maybe you could go back in time and text Hitler's grandson. You've been given a terrible curse, but it could also be a great gift. With great power comes great responsibility etc. etc.

Kids! No matter how committed you are to building a personal relationship with Jesus or any other spiritual icon, don't text Him while driving. Or anyone, for that matter.

Text it <33