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WARNING: These bros use language that rightfully points out how far gone this poor lass must be.

Alexander Shtifanov is his name, and he recently wowed crowds and judges on Ukraine's Got Talent with ridiculous feats of flipping and pouring, all while not spilling a drop. After watching him, I felt compelled to practice bottle flipping a bit myself, because I don't think making alcohol disappear qualifies as a particularly rare talent.

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It's a questionable fashion choice, but he gets so into it he pulls it off.

Well, not LITERALLY pulls it off. That would be inappropriate.

From the critically acclaimed film The Pregame Before Christmas.

Just handing a beer off is for losers! If it doesn't involve a trampoline, I ain't doin' it!

This was immediately followed by a very special episode of "Monkey Intervention." I would know, I sponsor the monkey at the 1:14 mark.

This is perhaps the greatest display of wizardry I've ever laid eyes on. The man magically pours a seemingly never-ending supply of beer from his iPad. This leaves me with only three questions:

1) Who are you? 2) What planet are you from? 3) Will you be able to accept your Nobel Prize in person?

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Sure, anything is possible all right. It's just a lot harder when you're drunk!

If you live in the Salta province of Argentina, now you can! Salta beer has designed a vending machine for the rugger in all of us by making the machine come with a rather exciting twist: you have to body slam into the machine as hard as you can to get your beer. The front of the machine has a meter similar to those old carnival hammer strength tests which measures the force of your impact.

Too soft? No beer for you! Smash it with all the fury you can muster? Congratulations, you've earned your brew.

Now you can take out your drunken lust for property damage on something that was actually meant to be hit!

While cruising down the Los Angeles freeway, some fans happened upon Steve Nash in a taxi. What happened next was the fabled "Inter-car Bro Beer Pass," a legendary move which ascends all involved to instant Bro status. Welcome to La La Land, Stevo!