sports

The stumbling, the slurring, the raised octave pitch at the end of each sentence, this is truly what it means to be White Girl Wasted.

The Minnesota Twins' Target Field will be one of the first sports venues in the country to introduce DraftServ's beer vending machines, which will reduce the long lines at concession stands, help regulate alcohol consumption, and give attendees more choice when it comes to what they're drinking.

Customers first need to visit a manned register and show ID in order to purchase a pre-paid debit card in $10, $20, or $50 amounts. They're then free to visit the DraftServ vending machines whenever they like, and choose one of four different beers ranging in price from 0.38 cents per ounce for Bud Light, to 0.40 cents per ounce for a pale ale.

That's right, now you can watch hockey while a robot/vending machine gets you drunk. You're living the dream!

Via Chicago Business: 

Two DraftServ units, each with four taps, will be installed at the United Center, stationed outside the Goose Island Brew Pub near Section 110 of the arena. They will be in use for Game 1 of the Bulls-Bucks series on April 18 and through the postseason for both Chicago teams.

See Vancouver, this is how it's done. You don't trash a city post-game, you get trashed, legally, and have a better time.

Check out Up Next In Sports for more athlete excesses!

This video really gets going around the 2 minute mark.

It should be noted: none of us at After 12 understand the rules to this game.

Is there any other way to play football?

Bonfire Brewing in Eagle, CO, has developed a microbrew in honor of the Patriots QB that gets ESPN all hot and bothered, Tim Tebow.