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Maybe the fine folks at Autocowrecks can help you out.

More phone phunny over at Autocowrecks!

Sun, we're very disappointed in you.

This summer, some guy named Mark is...

The Warned Identity.

"Alright, who's on coconut milk duty?"

"I don't know, ask these guys.

Hey, at least there weren't any bombs involved!

For more 4G funny, check out Autocowrecks!

Please don't kill me!

I've heard of the "call of nature," but the text of nature? That's new.

"Crappy."

"Jesus 5:14 (or something): Thou shalt pick ur parents up and driev them wherever they want lol."

"Dad... I think you just made that one up..."

You kept saying that your steering wheel was over 50 percent stronger than the leading disposable dinnerware brand! What the hell, man?

Excuse me, I'm fluent in Drunkish. Ahem!

"Hey man, I'm all for Hugo asking Bruno out on a date. They really seem like they have a lot in common."

"Let me re-phrase, I'm STRON[G]LY in favor of it!"

"What????"

"They go together like N and Ñ in the Spanish alphabet!"

"I'd like to talk to you on the phone about it, but it's too damn loud in here."

"Lord, that's odd! The po-po just showed up to the party and they just signed up on the beer pong table queue!"

We have the top scientists trying to figure what the hell you said.

"Do not use social media or communication devices of any kind."

Sincerely, Sober Self