marker

Three guesses which ones.

"Here is my good friend "Bert" (his nickname). He decided to pass out in my living room, so I decided to put permanent marker all over this 17 year old. He deserved it!"

Hey! I recognize that website at 0:35! It looks so familiar! Hmm... that's gonna bug me...

In all seriousness though, thanks for the shoutout, Thomalio! And good luck to Bert washing himself off!