If only these labels had real beers to go with them. Here's what we think they'd taste like though:
Broke Back Bock: Pale but heavy, leaves you out of breath and wanting a triple bacon cheeseburger.
Buff & Tan: Full-bodied and orange, causes fist-pumping and thinking that Ed Hardy shirts are pretty sick brah.
Butterface: Good flavor and feels good going down, just don't look at it too closely.
Double Dark Dork: A carefully-crafted "beer drinker's beer" perfect for sipping while you marathon Doctor Who (again).
Eurotrash European-style beer that goes well with sauerkraut and confusing techno.
Extra Bitter Ex: Tastes good at first, but a little ways in you realize what a horrible mistake you've made.