hammered

"Aww man, I'm about to get hammered! The bad kind of hammered!"

In which we hear 91 terms for the word "drunk." Because just "drunk" never suffices. My personal favorite that doesn't appear on this list is "f**khoused." Can you think of any more?

... that you carried around a hammer?

Wait, no no no, a little less hard.

No, my pride is not above using a hammer to get my wine bottle open. I've got to get hammered somehow!

I'll get smashed and rear-end you.