crunk critters

It's true! Textured brown beer bottles are so similar to the look and color of female wings of a certain beetle species that males will hump the bottles until they dehydrate and die. Won't someone think of the beetles!

If you're the first to pass out, you're the first to get messed with, and it's no different for cats.

Okay, I know criaturas means "creatures," but critters doesn't translate directly, so sue me!